Heart's Desire, Heart's Betrayal
by Taineyah
Summary: Rogue's losing touch with herself, and Remy's trying to get her to love him. His latest attempt could destroy her. Can her adopted family (the X-Men) save her? Or will her heart's desire kill her? NOT your average
1. It's all too much

         What if you'd spent a long time adjusting to the fact that you'd lost something?  You'd resent the people that still had it.  What if your heart's desire was to have it back?  You'd trust anyone to get it, no matter who they were or what they'd done.  What if someone gave you that one thing, but it was torn away after only one day?  _It would destroy you._

Disclaimer: Recognise it?  Good.  Tainz doesn't own it.

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         Remy looked around the main room of the tiny shack while he waited for his hostess to come back inside from collecting some kind of herb.  It was dark and spooky on one side, with bunches of dried plants and strange bones hanging from the rafters.  The other side was brighter, with beautiful bowls, vases and bottles lining the windowsill of the shack's single window.  Remy himself was seated at an oak table in the centre of the room.  A white candle stood in the middle of the table and the top of the table was decorated with a strange, flowing script that Remy couldn't read, along with some odd pictures.

         Finally, his hostess, a young woman, came back inside and sat across from him, clutching a bundle of fresh lavender.  Her long, dark hair flowed past her shoulders, nearly to her elbows, emphasising the low cut of her robe.

         "The lavender cleanses.  It will clean the air of lies and disguises so I may know your true intention."  She looked at him with a piercing gaze that seemed to cut right through him.  He was so disconcerted by her gaze that he wasn't sure of her eye colour.

         "You know what Remy want."  He refused to allow himself to show any weakness to her.  He'd heard that it would destroy any respect she might have for him and that she wouldn't help someone she didn't respect.

         "I know what you _need_," she corrected.   "I haven't a clue what you _want."_

         He paused for a moment, unsure of how to address her.  

         "My name is Audrina," she said.

         "Audrina..." he repeated, listening to the way it rolled off his tongue.  It suited her.

         "I thought so too.  That's why I chose it for myself."

         He closed his eyes for a moment, remembering the rumours about how she'd try to confuse him and distract him from his quest.

         "Remy know this girl.  She trés belle and intelligent.  She got a beautiful personality.  She be the best girl Remy ever meet, no insult intended," he said politely.

         She smiled softly.  "None taken."

         "Remy love her with all his heart, but he not tell her that.  He can't show it 'cause she can't love him.  So he follow her around, look out for her and stuff."  Remy was telling Audrina, a perfect stranger, things he'd barely even admitted to himself, but he knew that Audrina would know in an instant if he lied.

         "Let me guess, you want me to do a love spell on her."

         Remy's eyes lit up and she shook her head sadly.  Although she _could _ read his mind, a person's mind could tell her things the person didn't consciously know yet, so Audrina ignored the little bit of negativity Remy held towards this option and continued.

         "The heart is a fragile thing.  I cannot force it in the direction of my choosing without destroying it.  I could make her love you, true, but she would hate you for it someday."

         Remy's head and heart dropped for a minute, then his eyes swung back to Audrina's face.  "The reason she not love Remy be because she not able to touch without hurting people.  Remy t'ink that she already love him, but she afraid to in case she hurt him.  If she can touch, maybe she love Remy.  And if she not love him, at least Remy get to see her happy."

         Audrina stood, her long green robe seeming to flow over her body like water.  She went to the window and stared at a pale blue bottle on the sill.  "You speak of the rogue."

         "The fille's name be Rogue, oui."

         "She is a rogue.  Magic is difficult to cast upon her, unlike so many others.  She rebels against it."

         "How you know?" Remy asked, startled by the way it sounded as though someone had been here before, on the same mission.

         "There _was someone here before, looking for a way to help the rogue.  An elderly man.  I sent him away with nothing.  I could not help her."  Audrina turned to him sadly, her eyes filled with tears. _

         As Remy watched, her face seemed to shift until she looked like Rogue.  He started towards her and then her face shifted again.  An old woman stood before him, hair turned white, face wrinkled and papery.  She blinked away the tears.

         "She is so very loved.  She has so much to live for and so many ways to live, even with the hand life dealt her, but she does not understand that.  She has been betrayed, but unlike most people, she refuses to trust again.  She's more careful than almost anyone I have ever heard of."

         Remy took the hand of the old woman in his.  "Then help Remy figure out a way to let her trust again.  Maybe we not use magic.  Just...  Remy need the fille."

         Audrina looked at him again with the same gaze she'd held him with before and he knew it was still her.  

         "You truly love her?"

         "She be the one thing Remy's heart desire that he not have."

         At the words 'heart desire' Audrina's features smoothed out again so that the young woman Remy had first seen was standing before him.

         "Then maybe I can help you.  I can give you a spell that will last for one day, from the moment she wakes up until the moment sleep overcomes her.  It will grant her her heart's desire.  I cannot tell you if that will be touch or not, but I can give you that one day."

         "And if it work, Remy come back and get the spell done again.  He get it done every day if he have to.  Money not matter.  He find it somewhere."  His voice rose with excitement.

         She shook her head gently.  "This can only be done for a person once in a lifetime.  She will have her heart's desire for one day and one day only."

         Remy blinked in shock.  "One day?  But..."

         "It is the best that I can do.  Even accomplishing that will tire me out for some time.  You will have to help me."  

         "How?  Remy not a wizard or nothin'."  He looked at his hands carefully.  "Remy not got no magic powers."

         "You won't be involved in the enchantment itself.  You will have to get her to hope.  It will be up to you to deliver the spell to her and tell her what to expect.  Her heart holds no trust because it holds no hope.  If you can get her to hope for that one day, then it may open her heart to the spell."  

         "How Remy deliver it?  Can you do it now?"

         She held up her hand to halt his barrage of questions.  "Do you understand that there will be consequences?"

         "What kind?" Remy asked, suspicious.

         "You are giving her that which she wants most, only for her to have it taken away a short while later.  It will hurt her.  She may resent you for it.  She may never be able to trust you again.  It will make it harder for her to go back to her normal life.  She is barely adjusted to that now, do you wish to undo all of the healing which has been done by time?"

         "Would the fille smile on that one day?  Would she enjoy it when it were happening?"

         "Most likely," Audrina replied, dreading what she knew Remy would say next, yet somehow knowing that it was right.

         "Then it worth it.  Remy give anythin' to see Rogue happy."

         Audrina had no other choice than to perform the spell.  She had sworn, many years ago, to help the heart and she was bound to that oath by magic and choice.

         She went over to a cabinet in the corner of the brighter side of the room and pulled out a small jewellery box.  She brought it to the table and opened it.

         "Pick the ring that most reminds you of her."

         Remy resisted the temptation to pocket a couple of the beautiful silver rings for later and pulled out a thin band with a single emerald in it.  He placed it in Audrina's outstretched hand and she examined it.

         "Emerald for the eyes, correct?"

         "Oui.  Those eyes be like the deepest forest pool, pullin' Remy in."  He took one last longing look at the other rings before she put them away.  "Now what?" 

         In answer, she went to the windowsill and picked the pale blue bottle she'd stared at before.  She dropped the ring in and the clear liquid inside bubbled angrily and turned dark.  She put it on the table in front of him, then headed to the dark side of the room.  She found a dark stone and a deep red candle.  She got a small stone bowl and melted the stone in it, using the heat from the candle, which had sprang alight of its own accord when she set it on the table.  She poured half of the melted stone into the bottle and the stone seemed to go straight to the ring, encasing it and turning the liquid light again.  She chanted a few words over the bottle and the liquid stopped bubbling.

         A dagger appeared from the folds of her robes.  "I need a few drops of your blood to put with the dragon's blood in the bowl.  The blood has been through your heart and this spell is to bring your heart's desire about, as well as hers."

         Remy closed his eyes and extended his left hand.  He felt a sharp prick on the tip of his ring finger and cool hands squeezed it.  He opened his eyes again in time to see a drop of bright red blood fall into the bowl.  A moment later, Audrina brought his finger to her lips and blew on it.  The tiny wound closed and healed before his eyes.

         She stirred his blood and the dragon's blood over the candle for a moment then poured it into the bottle.  It too covered the ring.  She chanted softly for a few minutes and Remy sat in silence.

         Finally, she handed him the bottle.  "Pour this out in my garden on the first plant you see that makes you think of her."

         With her on his heels, he went outside.  Just outside the door was a beautiful rose bush, blooming out of season with beautiful crimson blossoms.  With Audrina chanting at his elbow, he poured the liquid out, watching as it splattered the lowest leaves of the plant.  Finally, the stone containing the ring fell out onto the ground.

         "Pick a rose," she commanded softly.

         He did, then he followed her next instructions, which were to pick up the stone and place it in the blossom of the flower.  The rose closed around the stone, becoming a bud again.

         Her voice unsteady, Audrina said, "Take it home and put it in water.  When the blossom opens again, take out the stone and strike it against a large rock.  It will open and the ring will fall out.  Wrap the ring in cloth for one week and don't touch it.  Then, give it to her, still wrapped in the cloth, and tell the rogue to put it on at night and think about what she wants most until she falls asleep.  Tell her that when she wakes up, she will have it, but only for one day."

         "That be all?" Remy asked.

         "Yes.  That is all.  Now leave me, please."

         "But what Remy owe you?"

         "Nothing.  Just go and leave me in peace."

         Remy did as she asked, not daring to argue with the sorceress.  Just as he was out of sight, Audrina dropped to the ground unconscious and exhausted.  

***

         Kitty bounced into the room she shared with Rogue and Rogue, curled up on her bed with a book, groaned.  Kitty's energy seemed to know no end, especially when Lance was involved.  And Rogue was sure that Lance was involved.  He usually was when Kitty was this bouncy.

         "What are you so happy about?"  Rogue put her book down and watched Kitty dance around the room.

         "Lance asked me to go to Return of the King with him this afternoon and the Professor said yes.  The movie's, like, three hours and there's no way Lance is going to be able to watch it the whole time."  Kitty giggled.  "You know what that means, don't you?"  Kitty looked in the mirror, playing with her bangs giddily.

         "There's gonna be a huge earthquake and the theatre's gonna drop into a hole in the ground?"  Rogue rolled her eyes, nauseated at Kitty's vanity and sense of "romance."

         "No, silly.  That means we'll have plenty of time to ourselves.  Plenty of time to ourselves in the back row, because that's the only place the other patrons will let mutants sit."  Kitty pulled a clean shirt out of their shared closet and held it up against herself, shoook her head and threw it in the general direction of her bed before pulling out another one.  As far as Rogue could tell, the two shirts were identical, but Kitty seemed to decide that the second one was acceptable and changed into it.

         "So you're gonna whip popcorn and gummi bears at everyone else's head?  Sounds like a real blast."  Rogue wondered why she even bothered messing with Kitty anymore.  It was too easy and it was getting kind of boring, since Kitty tended to take things at face value.  Rogue knew full well that Kitty and Lance were going to spend their time making out in the back.

         "No!  That's, like, rude.  Don't you ever go to the movies?  You'd totally get kicked out."  Kitty picked her hairbrush out of a pile of clothes, took out her hair elastic and brushed her hair down.  "What do you think?"

         Rogue shook her head and Kitty put the elastic back in.

         Choosing to ignore Kitty's fashion crisis interruption, she continued messing with Kitty's head.  "Some of us don't have the option of going inta crowded movie theatres with lots o' people slidin' across our laps to go get more popcorn and go to the bathroom.  People who might slip and touch our _skin.  Some of us might cause mass hysteria if we did that." _

         Kitty's face fell.  "Oh yeah.  I forgot.  Sorry Rogue."  She continued to get ready for her date, but she turned away from Rogue.

         Rogue ignored her and rolled over so she was facing the wall.  She picked her book back up and buried herself in _Interview With a Vampire_.  She could relate to Louis and how he felt as though he didn't fit into the vampire world because he hated killing.  She didn't fit into the teenage world of makeout sessions and mosh pits because she couldn't touch.

         A couple of hours passed.  Kitty had long since left to go to her movie and it was fast approaching evening from afternoon.  A knock sounded on her door.

         "What?" Rogue called harshly, annoyed at having been disturbed.

         "It's dinner time," Kurt's voice came, timidly.

         "Ah'll be down in a minute," she replied with a loud sigh.  

         She got up and pulled her gloves back on.  She'd taken them off to read because they made it harder to turn the pages.  She hated gloves.  Once, she'd thought they were really cool, back when she'd started wearing them in the eighth grade.  She'd thought they were a great way to make a statement about the barriers in the world and all that, right up until the day they'd become necessary.  At that moment, though, where she realised she'd never feel another person's touch as long as she lived, they'd become manacles, forever encasing her and restraining her.

         She went downstairs to where everyone was already there for dinner.  It was a hot day in early August and pretty much everyone was dressed in T-shirts or tank tops and shorts.  She sat at her corner of the thinking about how she stuck out like a sore thumb with her long sleeves and pants.  Even the Professor had put on a short-sleeved shirt to try to combat the heat.  Normally the air conditioner would have taken care of things, but Logan had been sure he smelled mould and had shut down the system to clean the filters and stuff.  Rogue figured it was just an excuse to do something away from the kids.  Logan had been pretty edgy all summer and he was starting to get really irritable whenever they were around him.

         She watched enviously as Sam casually touched Rahne's arm while he reached for the butter.  Rahne blushed furiously and pulled her arm away.  Rogue knew that it was only a matter of time until those two got together and she wished they'd just get it over with already.

         Rogue caught the glance that Jean sent her way and knew she had to be projecting somewhat.  Jean pulled her hand free from Scott's under the edge of the table and rested it next to her plate.  Scott looked hurt for a second, then Jean leaned over and whispered something in his ear.  It didn't surprise Rogue that Jean didn't use her powers, since power use was against the rules at the table, mostly to keep Kurt from getting all the food.  Even through his sunglasses, Rogue saw Scott look at her and felt his pity.  She couldn't even have envy to herself.  It was too much for her to deal with.

         She shoved her chair back from the table and stood up.  She started out the dining room door, but the Professor called after her.

         "If you're finished, Rogue, you may clear your plate."  He was polite, as always.

         Rogue kept walking.

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There you have it, the first chapter of something new and exciting.... and redundant as it's probably already been done a billion times before. Just so you know, Audrina was a necessary OC who will not make a reappearance.  And to make a careful distinction, she was a sorceress, not a witch or a wiccan.  She was purely fictional and her powers and spells were not drawn from any historical or religious source.

Also, since I am the evil authoress and control the universe (at least on paper/word processor) Return of the King wasn't released until summertime in the Marvelverse, in this story.  So there.

R&R!

Love always,

Tainz


	2. Hit or Miss

                I know that, right now, this looks like the stereotypical Romy.  It isn't.  It's very important that you keep reading, because there are things that are very... non-typical... coming.

Disclaimer:  Heyho!  Tainz owns nicht!           

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                Rogue got back to her room and tripped over a pile of junk on the floor, getting rug burn all up one leg.  Kitty's stuffed animals and clothes flew everywhere.  Rogue had been asking her roommate to clean up for weeks, but the valley girl didn't seem to understand the concept.  Rogue looked at her reflection as she stood up.

                "Ah'm so sick of this," she muttered to it as she examined her leg.

                Furious, she went back downstairs to the maintenance closet and grabbed a handful of  orange garbage bags.  Returning to her room, she started picking up Kitty's things.  She put all of the clothes in one bag, all of the toys in the next and so on, until the floor was clear.  Then she moved on to the closet she and Kitty shared.  By the time she was done, she had four huge bags stuffed full and the room was neat.  She wrote "Property of Kitty Pryde" on each of the bags with a black permanent marker and tossed them out into the hall, seeing how far she could get them.  She heard something shatter when she threw the last bag, but she really didn't care anymore.

                Her anger at the world as a whole somewhat abated, she lay down on her bed, put her headphones on and closed her eyes.  She nodded off, exhausted from her cleaning fit.  It was just getting dark when she woke up to someone shaking her violently.  Rogue pulled her headphones off and looked sleepily at Kitty.

                "What did you do with all my stuff, Rogue?" Kitty asked furiously.

                "Ah didn't do anything to 'all your stuff.'  The stuff that was all over _our_ room, Ah picked up and put in garbage bags in the hall.  Anything that was where it belonged, Ah left."

                "That was, like, totally uncalled for!"  Kitty yelled.  "You have no right to touch my things."

                "It was all over mah room.  Ah couldn't move without tripping over it.  Look at mah leg!"  Rogue rolled up her pant leg, ignoring the way Kitty instinctively moved away from Rogue's bare skin.  An angry red patch blazed fiercely on Rogue's pale leg.

                "How is it my fault if you're a total klutz?"  Kitty stormed out of the room, only to return an instant later with an orange bag in tow.

                A few minutes later, the room was in as total disarray as it had been before Rogue's tidying fit.  Kitty had dumped the bags out, telling Rogue off the whole time and proceeded to inspect every single one of her belongings.  Rogue had put her headphones back on and cranked up the volume to drown out the younger girl.  Finally, Kitty came to the bottom of the last bag.

                "Oh my god!" Kitty screeched.

                Sure that Kitty had injured herself, Rogue looked over in concern.  Kitty was cradling a porcelain doll and tears were streaming down her cheeks.  

                Rogue yanked the headphones off.  "Are ya hurt?"

                Kitty looked at her, enraged.  "You broke Guinevere!  How could you?!?"

                "It's just a doll.  Aren't you a little old for dolls?"  Knowing that Kitty wasn't bleeding, Rogue didn't care anymore.

                "Guinevere was my great-grandmother's doll!  You shattered her!  She was, like, I dunno, a hundred years old!" Kitty shrieked like a harpy.  

                She burst into tears again.  Before Rogue could do or say anything, even tell Kitty to shut up, Kitty had run through the wall next to the door, clutching the shattered remains of the doll.  Rogue surveyed the disaster in her living space again and closed her eyes.  It didn't matter what she did, she'd never get any peace.

                A few minutes later, the door opened and Ororo came in, followed by Kitty.  Kitty, still carrying the doll, sat down on her bed.  She gulped back sob after sob while Ororo sat in the chair at the dressing table.

                "Rogue, Kitty says you broke her antique doll.  Is this true?" Ororo asked serenely.

                "Yeah.  But Ah didn't mean to.  Ah was just tryin' to make a point, that the room was a mess.  Ah didn't mean for anything to get wrecked."  Rogue shrugged.  "It's her own fault for not tidyin' up when Ah asked her."

                Kitty hiccoughed.  "If you'd asked nicely, I would have."

                "Ah did ask nicely.  A month ago, when mah CDs went missing under a pile of your stuff," Rogue snapped.

                "Rogue, calm down please.  Why didn't you come to one of the adults if you felt that you had a problem roommate?"

                "I'm, like, not the problem here.  I don't play my music loud or keep my light on all night like she does," Kitty said, glaring at Rogue.

                "Ah'm not two years old.  Ah can take care of mah own problems and make mah own points.  Without an adult," Rogue scowled, ignoring Kitty's accusations.

                "By destroying other people's stuff?  That doll's, like, irreplaceable!"  Kitty stood and shook the object in question before Ororo could say anything.  "Look what you did to her!"

                Rogue had to admit that the damage was pretty bad.  The doll looked worthy of a position as a prop in a bad horror movie.  "Ah'm sorry, okay?  If you'd just clean up once in awhile, this wouldn't have happened."

                "I cleaned up, like, last month."

                "Girls..." Ororo started.

                "You haven't cleaned up since Ah moved in!  This room's looked like a wreckin' yard since Ah got here."  Rogue stood up too, moving towards Kitty.

                Kitty put the doll down on her bed and took a step in Rogue's direction.  "Maybe I'd be more co-operative if you didn't make fun of me all the time.  I'm not stupid, you know!"

                Ororo stepped between the girls and Rogue couldn't help noticing that the older woman stayed carefully out of Rogue's reach.  "Girls, you aren't solving anything this way."

                "If Rogue, like, got off this pathetic self-pity trip she's been on, there wouldn't be anything to solve."

                "Kitty!" Ororo admonished.

                "What's that supposed to mean?" Rogue asked, dodging around Ororo to try and get at Kitty.  Ororo grabbed Rogue by the shoulders, to prevent her from attacking Kitty.

                "You spend all your time moping about how you can't have a life because you can't touch.  If you'd get over yourself and try, maybe you would have one." Kitty's malicious barb cut into Rogue and blindsided her.

                "What?" 

                "Get over yourself already.  You don't get to be the queen in your glass tower and make the rest of us tiptoe around you so it, like, doesn't get shattered."

                Anger and pain overcame Rogue.  She only had two choices as to how to react, and she didn't want to cry.  She shook herself free of Ororo and attacked Kitty.  Kitty was so shocked that, for a second, she forgot to phase.  Rogue got a couple of good hits to Kitty's face and yanked out a large section of Kitty's hair before Kitty phased through her and ran into Ororo's arms.

                Ororo looked furious.  "Sit down, Rogue," she commanded fiercely as she hugged the crying Kitty protectively.

                Rogue stared at her, challenging her.

                Ororo stared right back.  "If you are not going to sit, then you are coming with me to see the Professor."

                "Make me," Rogue spat back.  

                A flash of lightning outside illuminated the room, which had suddenly grown dark.  "Come with me now."  Ororo's command was followed by a crack of thunder.

                "Get out of mah room," Rogue countered.  "Get out and take that brat with you!  Ah'm not sharin' mah room with her anymore."

                Finally, Ororo did the only thing she could do.  She led Kitty out of the room.  When the door opened, Rogue could see most of the Institute's students standing outside.  Ororo closed the door behind her and Rogue threw herself down onto her bed.

                The tears flowed freely onto her blankets as Kitty's words echoed in her head.

                _"Get over yourself already.  You don't get to be the queen in your glass tower and make the rest of us tiptoe around you so it, like, doesn't get shattered."_

                Was that what everyone thought of her?  That she didn't care about anyone else?  She spent her time alone to protect them, not because she didn't ever want company.  Rogue tried to stop crying, but found that she just couldn't.  She didn't cry.  She never cried.  When she'd been told that she'd never touch anyone again, she hadn't shed a tear.  Now she couldn't stop.  She felt like she had no control over her own being.

                Her bed shook and creaked from the force of her sobs.  She knew that Ororo had likely gone to get the Professor and she didn't want him to come in and see her crying, but she couldn't help it.  Sure enough the door creaked open and clapped shut.  Unexpectedly, she felt the weight of someone sitting down on her bed.  Knowing it couldn't be the Professor, she looked up and made out Logan's form through the blur of her tears.

                He was wearing his overalls and a pair of the thin gloves he wore when he polished the chrome on his bike.  She thought, rightly so, that he'd just come up from the garage.  She expected him to go off into a speech about discipline or something, but he surprised her by reaching over and brushing the soaking wet hair back from where it was clinging to her face.  She was startled by his actions and tried to move away, expecting him to do the same, but he held his ground.

                "Let it out, Stripes.  You need this, trust me."

                At the gentleness in his voice, a fresh wave of tears found her and she sat up, still bawling.

                "Logan...Ah didn't...Ah didn't...mean to..." she wailed between sobs.  "Ah didn't mean...to break the...the doll..."

                Logan reached over awkwardly and pulled her into a hug, slowly and gently so she could escape if she wanted, but she didn't pull away.  He just put his arms around her and rocked her back and forth slowly, feeling strange and uncomfortable.  She could smell motor oil and gasoline on his clothes, but it didn't seem like a bad thing.

                "It's okay.  Kitty won't stay mad," he whispered into her hair.  "It'll be okay."

                "No it won't!  No one likes...me.  They think...They think...that Ah don't care...They think...Ah'm mean..."

                "It doesn't matter what they think."  

                Logan kept rocking her and she kept sobbing confessions into his chest.  As time went by, Rogue got quieter and quieter until she finally fell asleep against him.  Afraid to leave in case he woke her, Logan slowly and carefully settled back to stay the night.  Just as he got comfortable, the door opened.  It was Kitty and the Professor.

                Kitty shuffled in, grabbed some pyjamas and clothes and scurried out again, but the Professor stayed just inside the door.

                "She didn't need a lecture this time, Chuck."  Logan kept his voice soft so he wouldn't disturb Rogue.

                "I know.  I knew that when I sent Ororo to mediate in the fight between the girls, but I wasn't sure what else I could do in this case.  I thank you for helping her."

                "I heard her and Half-Pint screaming from out in the garage.  I knew you'd have to punish her to satisfy Kitty, especially after Rogue attacked her, so I decided to get up here before you."

                "How _did_ you know about the attack?  The other students said you ran up here like 'one of the training sims was after you'." Xavier said.

                "Only two things makes a couple of girls scream like that, and I knew the boys weren't doing a panty raid."

                "You did an excellent job, Logan.  She needed a parent to look after her and you did that."  Xavier knew that he wouldn't have been able to help Rogue in the slightest, not this time.

                "I did what I had to."  Logan looked Xavier straight in the eye.  "She's hurting real bad."

                "The psyches haven't been merciful lately.  She's been in my office almost everyday for help with them."

                "That ain't what I mean."

                "I know, but the only thing I can do for her is try to help her keep her mind intact and make her as comfortable as I can.  I can't take away her pain."

                Logan nodded.  "She's sleeping better right now than she has in months.  I check on the kids before I go to bed and she's always got her light on, reading, or she's tossing and having nightmares.  I've had to wake her up a couple of times to keep her from hurting herself or waking up Kitty."

                Rogue groaned in her sleep and Logan gave her a little squeeze.  "It's okay.  Go back to sleep."  He looked up at the Professor.  "We can talk in the morning.  She needs sleep."

                The Professor nodfded.  As he rolled out of the room, he gently scanned the girl's mind.  As the door swung shut silently, Xavier closed his eyes in pain.  He headed down the hall to go call an old friend, Moira McTaggert.  He could only hope that she'd know of some way to help his student.

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Please Review!

Love always,

Tainz


	3. Rude Awakenings

            Well, here you have the third chapter of my first Romy.  Things will be revealed...  But not completely!

Disclaimer:  Tainz owns nothing you recognise!

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            Rogue had never been one to wake up quickly.  She usually became aware of her surroundings a few seconds before she opened her eyes, and this morning was no exception.  She felt strong arms around her and her eyes snapped open.

            She saw a scruffy, familiar face on her pillow.  "Logan!" she exclaimed in shock.

            He snapped awake instantly, looking paranoidly around.  He visibly relaxed when he realised where he was.

            "What are you doin' here?" she asked, pulling away from him.

            "You cried yourself to sleep, after your fight with Kitty.  Didn't want to wake you up."

            Now standing over him, she turned her head slightly to one side, thinking.  "What're ya talkin' about?  Ah never cry.  And Ah must've already been asleep when Kitty got in from her date with Lance.  Ah don't even remember her comin' home."

            Logan was now sitting up.  "You threw all her stuff into the hall and attacked her.  Don't you remember anything?"

            Rogue shook her head.  "Ah think ya should go get the Professor to check your brain out.  Somethin's wrong."

            Logan looked at her in concern, sniffing the air.  He could smell fear.  She was scared of him, but he knew it wasn't his mind that was having a problem.  She honestly didn't seem to remember.

            "Why don't we go down together?  I bet Chuck's waiting for us."

            Watching him cautiously, Rogue nodded.  "Maybe that's the best idea."

            She followed him to Xavier's office and, sure enough, the Professor was waiting there.  He looked up tiredly from his desk and hung up the phone he was speaking on.

            "Moira, I have to go," he said.  "Good-bye."

            Logan tapped his toe impatiently and the second the phone was resting in its cradle, he verbally pounced on the Professor.  "Stripes here don't seem to remember anything from last night."

            Xavier nodded slightly.  "I expect so."

            Rogue relaxed a little, thinking that the Professor was saying that nothing had happened.  "So it's somethin' wrong with Logan, not me?"

            Xavier didn't respond to her question.  "Why don't you go get some breakfast?  I believe that Kurt is making waffles."

            Rogue hadn't expected the Professor to put her off like that, but knew that he was trying to get her to leave.  "All right.  Ah don't want to miss that."  She left, not quite sure what to make of the whole situation.

            Xavier turned to Logan.  "I didn't think that she would remember last night."

            "It was a pretty serious event, Chuck.  How could she forget?"

            For once in his life, Charles Xavier didn't know how to answer a question.  He'd been on the phone most of the night and he was exhausted.  Even if that hadn't been true, he simply didn't know how to put the truth into words.  He stared into space.

            "Chuck.  What the hell's wrong with her?"  Logan approached the desk.

            "She's in trouble."

            "I knew that.  What kind of trouble is she in?"

            "Her mind is degrading.  The human brain was never intended to house a multitude of psyches and sets of memories.  It puts undue stress on the primary mind."

            "You've been helping her with that.  She can shut them up better now."  Logan didn't understand why this was such a major concern at this point.  Rogue was having an easier time of locking the psyches away, as far as he could tell.

            "Just because they're silent doesn't mean that they aren't there.  They're still tearing her mind apart and destroying her."  Xavier rubbed his eyes.

            "You aren't saying...  No.  Not Rogue.  She's just a kid."

            The Professor looked up, confused for a second, then he caught the thought.  "No.  She isn't dying, at least, not in the true sense of the word."

            "Then she is dying."

            "Her mind is being destroyed.  Her body will remain intact, but she can't fight the fact that her brain is overloaded."

            "Then she'll survive?"

            "Yes.  She will survive, if by survive, you mean that her body will continue to breathe and move on its own.  Rogue, however, will be as dead as if we had buried her.  She will not exist as we know her.  All that will remain is a shell, torn between many opposing minds and attitudes.  She will be a danger to herself and others, especially us."

            "That isn't true.  She's a survivor.  She'll be fine."

            "Last night wasn't the first time something's happened like that, where she's done something and doesn't remember it."

            "When else has it happened?"

            "It's only been little things.  It started last spring.  I began getting phone calls from her teachers saying that she was handing in strange, incoherent assignments and that she was talking back in class.  She always denied it and when I scanned her mind she didn't remember it... but one of her psyches always did."

            "She's fighting it.  She won't let them win."

            "She doesn't know what's happening."

            "You haven't told her?" Logan bellowed.

            "Keep your voice down please, Logan.  No.  I haven't told her.  She's terrified that this might happen and telling her that it is happening would only accelerate things.  She wouldn't keep up the fight."

            "She'll figure it out on her own you lousy..."  Logan stopped and took a deep breath to calm himself down before he said or did something that he'd regret.  "What are you going to do about it?"

            "There isn't anything I can do, except try to keep her comfortable.  I was on the phone all night with Moira McTaggert."

            "Rahne's foster mother?"

            "Yes.  She's agreed to take Rogue's case on when it is no longer possible for her to remain here."

            "What?  There's no one better qualified to help a mutant than you."

            "Moira specialises in mutant research.  Even if she is unable to help Rogue, and I doubt she will be able to help, she has the facilities to keep more dangerous mutants.  The point is fast approaching where it won't be possible to keep Rogue in a setting such as this, where other children might be harmed."

            "You're giving up on her and sending her to Scotland?  I won't let you."

            "I'm not giving up.  I'm considering the safety of the others.  I f I do it, it will be because I don't have a choice.  She attacked Kitty last night.  She bruised the entire side of Kitty's face.  Kitty's eye is swollen shut.  You have trained Kitty in self-defence and Kitty's mutation makes her untouchable, yet Rogue managed to injure her.  When Rogue becomes uncontrollable, it might be a younger student, without much training.  What if it had been Jamie?  Or Amara?  Rogue will only become more and more dangerous."

            "I was considered uncontrollable and dangerous.  My mind was destroyed, once."

            "It isn't the same, Logan.  Your injuries were repairable.  You had something solid to fix.  Rogue won't have that."

            "Go to hell, Chuck.  She'll make it."  Logan started out the door.

            "Logan, she only has about six weeks."

            "Don't read her obituary yet."  Logan headed off to the showers.

***

            After leaving the office, Rogue had gone to the kitchen as suggested.  Kurt had indeed been there, making waffles.  He turned to her when she walked in and she saw his face go from happy to terrified and angry in half a second.

            "What's wrong?" Rogue asked.

            "You have to ask?  I thought she vas your friend.  How could you do that to her?"

            "To who, Kurt?  Ah haven't done anything."

            "Vhat is it about you that you have to destroy things?  You shoved Mystique off a cliff and now you attack Kitty.  Vhy can't you ever just...  I don't know...  Be happy.  Just leave things alone."  He glared furiously at her.

            Rogue shook her head.  "What are you talkin' about?  Ah never attacked anyone, let alone Kitty."

            Just then, the kitchen door swung open and Kitty walked in.  A huge purple bruise covered almost half of her face and her left eye was closed.

            "In here for one last meal before you go?" Kitty asked, her voice dripping poison.

            "What happened to you?"  Rogue moved towards Kitty and Kitty stepped back, almost backing right out the door.  "Did Lance hit you?  Because if he did, Ah'll kill him."

            "You are, like, so pathetic.  How can you pretend nothing happened?  You tried to kill me."  She turned around and left.

            Faced with all the evidence, Rogue couldn't deny that she must have done something to her roommate.  Shaking her head in disbelief, she backed out the other door to the kitchen.  As soon as she was out, she started running.  She ran out of the mansion and into the woods.  She ran as hard as she could, half hoping that she'd run into some kind of time warp and be able to go back to yesterday.  Finally, she came to a small creek, dried by the heat into little more than a trickle.

            She followed the creek for a few minutes, until she came to a seemingly impenetrable wall of bushes.  She dropped down to her hands and knees and crawled through a narrow path made by the creek when it flooded in the spring.  After a moment, she came to a small clearing and she was able to stand upright.  A still, clear pool stood in the centre of the clearing.

            She took her shoes off and dabbled her feet in the icy water.  This was her sanctuary.  Nothing could touch her here and she could try to figure things out.  She lay back in a small patch of sunlight and thought as hard as she could, but she couldn't remember anything.  A twig snapped and she sat up quietly.  Sometimes small animals came here to drink and she liked to watch them.  No animal came waddling out of the underbrush.

            "Is anyone there?" she called.  The woods seemed to have gone silent.  

            There was no answer, but suddenly there was a crash.  "Merde," a muffled voice exclaimed.

            "If you want ta take me back ta Magneto, you're gonna have to be a little quieter when ya sneak up on me to kidnap me," she said.  She pulled her shoes back on and stood up, ready for a fight.  She knew that she had better chances of fighting off would-be kidnappers in an open area instead of when she was crawling through her tunnel.  She could be ambushed in the tunnel.

            A few minutes later, an auburn head poked out of the underbrush.  Black and red eyes looked at her.  Wincing with pain, Remy smiled.  "Remy not here to kidnap you."

            "Y'know, for a thief, you make a lot of noise."  She glared at him.

            "Dere be a few differences between bein' silent in a museum or a house and bein' silent in the woods."  He grimaced.  "The woods bite back."

            "What?"

            "Remy step on the wrong stick and it come up and smash him...  It just smash him real good."

            She snorted and examined the slightly ill look on his face.  "Y'all got sacked by an inanimate object."

            "Maybe."  He looked sheepish.

            She shook her head as the rest of the Cajun appeared slowly from the underbrush.  "Ah should kill ya for followin' me here.  Ah hate ta be followed."

            "You not gonna kill Remy."

            Knowing he was right, she changed the subject.  "If you're not here to kidnap me, what're you here for?"

            "It a crime if Remy like to go find a quiet place to t'ink?"

            "Tink?  That'd better not be a short form for tinkle."

            "Tinkle?  Non.  Remy come to t'ink, not take a leak."

            "What the hell are ya tryin' ta say, swamp rat?"  For some reason, she felt it necessary to make fun of him.  She figured it was just a way for her to blow off steam.

            Remy's face took on a look of intense concentration.  "T'ink...Sink.  Non...  Th-th-ink. Think," he finally got out.

            She laughed.  "You've probably heard English all your life.  Why can't you even speak it right?"

            "Pourquoi tu ne parle pas français perfectemente?" he countered.  (A/N:For the French-impaired out there: "Why don't you speak French perfectly?")

            "Je parle français.  Ich spreche Deutsch.  Ah can probably speak better in more languages than you've ever heard, Ah just can't be bothered satisfyin' you."

            "Chere, you not need to do anything to satisfy Remy.  Just lookin' at you satisfy him."  He grinned and moved towards her.

            She became utterly serious.  "Get away from me, Cajun.  Y'aren't supposed to be here.  This is Institute property."

            He stopped walking, shaking his head.  "Chere, this be government property.  It part of some kind of nature preserve.  Anyone allowed here."

            "Don't call me Chere.  I ain't your dear and I ain't some ancient singer who's had so much plastic surgery she could pass for Barbie."

            "All right then.  What you want Remy to call you?"  Again, he moved towards her.

            "Ah may not be able to throw you out of these woods, but you're gonna stay away from me.  Ah'm stayin' on this side of the pond, you stay on that side."

            Remy nodded.  At least she wasn't trying to kill him.  "Fair enough, Petite."

            "It's Rogue.  You can call me that or you can not speak to me."

            "Rogue...  It a extraordinary name for a extraordinary fille."  Remy recalled the words of the sorceress.  He wished that the ring was ready, but the flower still hadn't opened up fully.  

            "What're you doin' here, anyway?  Ah highly doubt you came here to think.  Ah'm not even sure you're capable of thought."

            Remy ignored the last part of her statement.  "Remy saw you running and t'ink he come make sure you okay."  He shrugged.  "He not mean for you to know he here."

            Rogue glared at him.  "Well, Ah know you're here and Ah'd like to know you were gone."

            Remy sat down next to the pool of water, staring into its murky depths.  It seemed to hold thousands of secrets, just beyond where he could see them.  He glanced at Rogue, who had sat back down, clearly unwilling to be the first to leave.  Her eyes stared back at him, willing him to go.  They held the same mysterious quality.

            "You gonna go or not?" Rogue asked.  "Ah was here first, so Ah think you should leave."

            "Remy not goin' anywhere.  He like the view here."

            They sat like that for a couple of hours, in stalemate.  Occasionally, Rogue would throw an insult at him and he'd brush it off.  Every so often, he'd find a way to tell her she was beautiful and she'd dismiss it as a lie.  

            Finally, the sun was overhead, beating down straight into their little forest room.  The humidity, which had been steadily increasing with the heat all morning, became unbearable and a foggy haze hovered over their little pond.  Rogue's hair stuck to her forehead and neck.  Normally, in this position, she would have taken off her mesh overshirt and her pants and jumped into the water wearing only her underwear and tanktop, but she didn't dare, not with _him_ around.

            She found herself semi-dozing in the heat and suddenly shook herself awake as Remy stood up.  Was he leaving at last?  She hoped so, because she wanted to go home and apologise to Kitty.  She also wanted to ask the Professor what was going on.

            To her utter amazement, he pulled off his shirt and dropped his pants, standing in only his boxers, which were dark red.  Grinning impishly, he waded into the little pool and sat down.  He dumped handful after handful of water over his head, then lay back in the cold water.  She watched the way the water glistened on his muscled chest.  

            "Ah always knew it was dangerous to absorb Kitty," Rogue muttered to herself.             Remy sat up.  "You want to join me, Rogue?"

            "Do Ah look impressed?" she responded.

            He knelt on the bottom of the pool and promptly fell onto his face.

            "Guess Ah shoulda told you there was a sinkhole in there, huh?"

Until next time,

Tainz


	4. Separation Anxiety

This is chapter four?  Already?  Wow!  I'm really getting places with this!

Disclaimer: Tainz owns nothing you recognise.

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                Logan looked at the clock.  It had been hours since Rogue ran off and he was getting worried.  Even if he hadn't had that conversation with the Professor, he would have been anxious.  She was upset and had been running.  He, of all people, knew how badly she needed to be alone right then.  What he didn't know was if she'd needed to get away from everyone so badly that she hadn't stopped.  For all he knew, she could be on a bus halfway to Mississippi by now.

                He went out the front door and caught her scent.  He decided to follow it.  If she wasn't in any trouble and she was just sitting somewhere thinking, he'd leave her alone, but if he couldn't find her, he'd get the Professor to send the X-Men out to search.  He followed the scent straight to the woods and plunged in.  He followed the trail at a steady pace.

                Coming to a raspberry patch, he found a little piece of her green mesh overshirt.  Obviously she'd still been running at this point, or she'd have been more careful about where she was going.  Suddenly, he caught another scent.  He quickened his pace.  Magneto's Cajun lackey was about.  The one who had taken up stalking Rogue as a hobby.

                He found the creek and followed it, finally coming across her tunnel.  He heard splashing and a male voice.  

                "Woulda been nice you tell Remy about the sinkhole _before _he fall in."

                "Ah told you to go away," Rogue's voice replied.

                Logan rushed into the tunnel, enlarging it with his claws.  "Get away from her, Gumbo."

                Remy looked shocked.  "Remy not even touching her!" he exclaimed, not quite sure how to respond to an angry and protective man with six deadly knives protruding from his knuckles.

                Logan looked at the pile of clothes and back to Remy.  "Likely story, bub."

                Rogue came to stand near Logan.  "He never touched me, but he wouldn't leave me alone.  He followed me here."

                Rogue carefully weighed her options.  She could tell Logan off and get rid of Remy on her own, or she could let Logan take care of things.  If she sent them away, Remy would be back soon enough.  If, however, she let Logan take care of it, Remy would either be so mutilated or so terrified that he might think twice about following her again.  She didn't stop Logan when he headed for Remy.

                "Look, bub.  You're gonna leave Rogue alone for good."  Logan was a fair bit shorter than Remy, but he was far more intimidating.

                Remy backed out of the water, heading for his clothes.  "Remy not hurtin' anyone.  He just want to see Rogue."

                "Looks to me like you wanted to do more than see her."  Logan approached and put his claws to Remy's throat, backing the younger man up to a tree.  "You don't threaten Institute kids, especially the girls."

                Remy put up his hands.  "Okay, homme.  Remy promise not to threaten them.  He not do anything to harm them unless it business."

                Logan pointed with one hand to Remy's clothes.  "Put those on and get out of here.  I don't want to catch you around Rogue again, you got me?"

                Remy nodded.  _You not gonna catch Remy_ he thought.  He struggled to get his jeans on over his wet skin and pulled his shirt on.  He gave one last grin to Rogue, which was met by a growl from Logan and then ducked out of the clearing.  Heading off on his own, he smiled to himself.  At least Rogue was well taken care of and loved.

                Rogue turned to Logan and gave him the obligatory glare.  "Ah could've taken care of him on mah own," she grumbled.

                "Right, Stripes.  You wanna come back with me and get some lunch?"  He was relieved that she was at least pretending to be angry, trying to stay in the character she'd built for herself.  She was still Rogue.

***

                "What're you so happy 'bout, mate?" St. John asked as Remy walked into the main living area of the compound, whistling a Cajun love song.

                "Nothin'" 

                "You been off stalking that Sheila again, haven't you?"  St. John clicked his lighter and made the flame twist into the shape of a girl, who looked amazingly like Rogue.  His control was impressive.

                Piotr was sitting in the corner drawing a picture to send home to Illyana in Russia.  "Magneto told you to stop going to the Institute.  You are going to get caught by one of Xavier's people."

                "Got caught by Wolverine, today," Remy replied cheerfully.

                Pyro sat up straight.  "You're still in one piece?"

                "Oui.  Remy gonna win the fille's heart.  You see."

                "May your grave stay empty, mate."  Pyro settled back down.

                "Maybe you should listen to St, John," Piotr inserted.  Remy looked at him in shock.  No one ever listened to Pyro.  It would be like a mouse listening to a cat who told it to climb into its mouth for safety.  "Better to be having a broken heart than a broken spine, my friend."

                "Remy got a surefire plan.  It not fail."

                "Are we talking about the same Sheila?  She hates you."  Pyro's fire girl shifted and she looked more like Wanda.

                "Not for long, homme.  In about a week's time, she love Remy."

                "Aren't you ever going to give up?" 

                Remy grinned.  "And give up the thrill of the chase?  Remy think not!"

                "There are other goths out there, Remy.  Why does this one matter so much?"  Pyro looked at his fire-Wanda.  "Wanda's pretty hot, but you'd have to get in line."

                Remy rolled his eyes.  Leaving the other Acolytes shaking their heads, he headed off to his room.  Instead of whistling his Cajun love song, he was singing it.

                _"Pour la fille qui est tres belle et amour,_

_                Les araignes filent les toiles en l'or."_

                The rose was sitting on his windowsill and the first thing he did was check on it.  It still had water and the blossom was still closed too much for him to see the stone.  He went over to his bookshelf and picked a CD off of a pile there.  It was a compilation of jazz love songs.

                As the music washed through his mind, he thought about his time with Rogue earlier that day.  He didn't understand why she'd been running.  If she was so unhappy, why hadn't she gone further?  He couldn't see what bound her to the Institute.  From what he knew about the place, there were far too many rules and the students had to spend all their time training.

                Lying on his bed, he picked up a picture of Rogue from his bedside table.  One of her school photos, he'd gotten it from the files Magneto had on her.  Like all school photos, it wasn't of the greatest quality.  In fact, it was probably the worst photo in her file.  The lighting was a little off, and made her skin appear greenish.  Her hair had, of course, gone crazy the second the lights touched it, static making her hair form a faint messy halo of flyaways around her head.  What he liked about the photo, though, and what had made him print it off of the computer, was the expression on her face.  Someone must have been standing behind the photographer doing something stupid while they waited in line, because she had this smirk on her face that looked like she was trying not to smile.  Instead of making her look horrible like it would anyone else, it gave anyone who looked at the photo this beautiful glimpse at the girl behind the makeup and facade.

                He'd spent hours looking at the picture, trying to figure out just what went on in her mind that no one saw.  He knew that she had a reputation as a cold Goth, but he couldn't believe that that was truly her.  No one who could look that gorgeous in the clothes and makeup she wore could have a soul as dark and ugly as everyone said she had. 

                One of his main sources for discovering as much as he could about Rogue was Todd.  The kid would do anything for a bit of money and he'd never tell anyone that Remy had been asking questions, provided Remy paid him on time.  Todd said that Rogue was a "moody bitch" who had made his life miserable the entire time she'd been with the Brotherhood.  One useful thing that Todd had been able to tell Remy was that Rogue had never gotten along with Pietro, always saying he was too arrogant, or Lance, calling him a selfish idiot.

                Remy sighed and rolled off his bed, photo still in hand.  He went and stared out the window.  In the time he'd spent with her in New Orleans, he'd seen some of her other side before she absorbed him.  At least, he thought he had.  From her guilt over Mystique's "death," she'd offered to help him find and rescue Jean-Luc.  He felt bad for manipulating her into helping him.  She'd been nice and almost polite to him until she found out what he'd done.

                "Probably ruined any chance with you that day, hahn?" he said to the picture, stroking the image of Rogue's cheek and wishing she were there with him.

                He wished he could just start all over with her.  He wished he'd never entered into a contract with Magneto.  He wished he were a couple years younger so he could go to school with her and try to get to know her better.  He hoped and prayed that giving her the ring would make her forgive him.

                He looked up to the sky outside.  "Benez-moi avec son amour, s'il vous plaît."

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Translations :

"Pour la fille qui est tres belle et en l'amour,

Les araignes filent les toiles en l'or."  : For the girl who is very beautiful and in love, the spiders spin their webs in gold.

"Benez-moi avec son amour, s'il vous plaît.": Bless me with her love, please.

                I don't know any Cajun songs, although their music is very, very beautiful  I made up the lyrics Remy sang based on an old Cajun legend about a beautiful girl whose father had spiders imported from France for her wedding and they spun a canopy among the trees in the bayou.  Gold dust was sprinkled upon them, making the sky look as though it were made of golden spider's silk.  It's a very beautiful story, like so many of the Cajun tales and I adapted it into that couplet for my story.  I don't claim ownership of that legend.

                Thank you for reading!


	5. FatherDaughter' Time

Hey all!  I know it's been a long time (damn the real world and writer's block) but here's more of this and I've got virtually the entire story written, but I'll still only be updating once every week or two.  Sorry.  

Disclaimer: You guys should have already figured this out, but *whisper* Tainz does not own anything you recognise!!!

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                Rogue looked around her nearly empty room.  It had been four days since Kitty moved out and Rogue still couldn't figure out a way to arrange her own possessions to fill in the empty space left by Kitty's absence.  Rogue hadn't been acquisitive at any point in her life and, with the fighting of so many minds over her preferences, she didn't even bother trying to make decisions about what to buy when Kitty or Jean dragged her shopping.  She just didn't buy things.  

                Rogue moved her bed for the third time that morning, this time positioning it in the middle of the room.  She shifted her desk and her dresser and moved her one poster to a different wall.  She put a few of her CDs on every surface.  It didn't matter what she did, the room seemed empty and far too quiet.

                She looked up at the clock and saw that it was 11:30.  Time for breakfast.  She had taken to avoiding the kitchen and dining room during peak hours, because the other students at the mansion seemed to spend all of their time glaring at her or making rude comments about her as though she weren't there.  She couldn't stand their pettiness, so she just avoided them.  She hadn't been in the rec. room since about ten minutes after she got back from the woods with Logan.  The only meal she ate with the others was dinner and that was only because the Professor requested that all of the students who were home eat dinner together, to give them a sense of 'family.'

                She walked silently into the kitchen.  Logan was there, but she didn't mind.  He'd been treating her normally, although he wouldn't talk about whatever had happened with Kitty.  She knew there had been something to do with a doll, but that was all she'd been able to find out and that was from the others' snide remarks.

                "Hey Logan," she said dully, not caring if he responded or not.  Part of her even hoped that he wouldn't, that he'd confirm what she was already sure of--that she wasn't worthy of existence.

                He looked up from the classifieds in the newspaper.  "Hey Stripes.  How're you holding up?"  He'd tried to get the other students to leave what had happened alone, but he wasn't allowed to explain to them why Rogue had acted like that and they weren't really interested unless he had a decent explanation.

                "Fine."  She put some bread into the toaster.  "You?"

                He could tell by her tone that she wasn't fine, but he didn't dare pursue it.  "I'm okay.  I think I'm gonna go buy this motorcycle later."  He pointed to a specific ad, hoping to spark her interest.  Rogue had seemed so empty since the whole thing with Kitty.

                She glanced at the ad.  It was marked as a 'fixer upper'  "Cool."  No enthusiasm.  She didn't dare show any.  If she did, she might feel more hurt than she already did.  She opened a cupboard and pulled out the peanut butter.

                Logan had known Rogue long enough to know that she only ate peanut butter and toast when she was upset and that was all she'd made herself since they came back from the bush.  He knew that he needed to get her away from the other students, but he hadn't been able to think of a good excuse so far.  She needed something that was hers.

                "You wanna come?" he asked after a couple of minutes.

                Her toast popped and she spread the peanut butter on it while she thought about his offer.  "To get the motorcycle?"  She was somewhat interested.  She'd always loved motorcycles and she didn't feel like hanging around in her room again all day.

                "Yeah."

                She put the toast on a plate.  "Sure.  Ah mean, it ain't like Ah got any other plans."  She shrugged.  With everyone angry at her, there was nothing for her to do.

                He got up.  "I'm going to go figure out which bike I have to move to get space to fix this one.  Come and find me when you're ready."

***

                Rogue held onto Logan's middle a little tighter as he sped up from his already illegally high pace.  He'd called ahead, and apparently the motorcycle ran, so she was going to get to ride it home.  She was looking forward to it.

                Finally, they pulled up in front of a well-kept white house.  Logan rang the doorbell and a man came to the door.

                "Hi.  I'm Logan and this is Rogue.  I called about the motorcycle."

                The man nodded.  "Sure.  I'm Mark.  Just give me a second to get my shoes on and I'll take you out to the garage."

                Logan tapped his foot impatiently, but waited quietly.  Rogue stood silently at his side, clutching her helmet under one arm as she shifted her weight subtly from one side to the other.  At last, Mark finished tying his shoes and he grabbed his keys off of a table next to the door.

                They went to the garage and Mark opened the big door.  Sunlight flooded in and glinted off of a brand new motorcycle.

                "That isn't the one you advertised," Logan said.

                Mark went to the back corner of the big room and pulled a cover off of another bike that was sitting in the shadows back there.  Its finish was scratched and dinged.  The handlebars showed signs of rust and the handles themselves were worn almost down to the metal.

                "This is.  I just bought the other one and this one's been through the mill.  It's perfect for someone to fix up for their daughter or something, though."  Mark looked at Rogue.

                "Ah'm not--" she started, but stopped at a glance from Logan.  She stood there puzzled for a second, until Logan put his arm over her shoulder and started speaking.  She almost laughed when she understood what he was doing.

                "That's right.  I'm trying to get a halfway decent bike for my daughter here.  I'm going to teach her the mechanics she needs to keep it on the road for herself and then it's hers, free and clear."  

                Mark looked at her with new respect.  "Rogue, right?"  He extended his hand to shake.

                Playing along with Logan's negotiations game, she took it.  "Ah'm Christine.  Rogue's just a family nickname."  She picked the name at random and watched with glee as Logan grinned.  She was not a Christine type of person.

                "A pleasure," Mark said, probably hoping he could get a good price for the bike if he showed respect to Logan's daughter.

                "You said she runs?" Logan asked.

                "It isn't the smoothest, but she does run.  She needs work and I just didn't have the time anymore."  Mark ran a hand over the handlebars.  "She was my first bike."

                Logan smiled disarmingly.  "Do you mind if Christine tries her out?  I don't want her getting a bike that's not to her liking, size-wise."

                Mark nodded and pulled a key off his key chain.  He handed it to Rogue.  "Sometimes you have to give her a little extra gas to get her going, but she will start."

                Rogue smiled like a good little girl.  "Thanks!  Ah can't wait to get out on the open road!"

                Logan frowned in a very concerned and fatherly way.  "Now Christine, don't go too far.  Just around the block.  Once."

                She rolled her eyes, enjoying her role.  At least it took her mind off of her problems back at the Institute.  "Yes Daddy."

                Logan laughed out loud.  The idea of him being anyone's "daddy" was too much.  He covered it up quickly.  "You look just like your mother when you do that."

                Rogue climbed onto the bike and started it up.  It popped and growled a little too much to be considered healthy, but it did run.  She threw her helmet on and took off.  

                The bike didn't accelerate smoothly and she couldn't get it up to a particularly high speed, but she knew that Logan would be able to fix it.  Her hair was just long enough to peep out from under her helmet and it whipped her neck stingingly in the wind.  It felt good.  She felt free.  All she wanted was to keep riding forever and leave the world behind.

                Without understanding how she'd gotten there, Rogue found herself twelve blocks from where she was supposed to be.  She looked around for a second, startled, then took off back towards the house, at full throttle.  When she got there, Logan looked at her strangely.  

                "I told you to take it around the block.  You should have been back five minutes ago.  I was going to go looking for you."

                Rogue looked at the ground.  "Sorry.  Ah don't know what came over me.  Ah just wanted to keep going."

                Mark smiled at her.  "It's a great feeling, isn't it?  Being all on your own out there."

                Rogue wouldn't have called what she'd just experienced a great feeling, but she nodded agreeably,  not wanting to get into it.

                Logan gave her a concerned glance, but started negotiations over the bike.  In the end, he got it for far less than he thought he'd be able to, largely due to Rogue. 

                He wheeled the bike out to the end of the driveway, away from Mark.  "What happened?  It isn't like you to pull something like that."

                She looked at him, a little scared.  "Ah think Ah'm losin' mah mind.  Ah was just...  Ah was ridin' around the block, and then Ah was halfway across town.  Ah can't understand how Ah got there."

                He took her shoulder.  "Are you going to be okay to ride that home?"

                Rogue looked at the bike warily.  "Yeah.  Ah'll stay right behind you and if Ah take off, you'll be able to stop me."

                They got on their motorcycles and the trip back to the Institute went by without event.  She put the motorcycle in the corner of the garage Logan had cleared out.

                "Have fun with it," she said, starting into the mansion.

                "Wait, Stripes."

                She turned around to look at him.

                "I was serious about the bike being for you.  You help me fix it, it's yours."  He was in a generous mood and he knew that Rogue desperately needed something to think about other than what had happened out there in Bayville.

                She shook her head.  "Ah can't accept it.  Look what happened out there.  What if Ah end up halfway across the country next time?  You gonna know where Ah am?"

                "We'll install a tracker, if it makes you feel better.  The bike's yours."

                "Ah'm goin' insane.  Ah'm blankin' out.  That must be what happened when Ah hurt Kitty and that must be what happened just now.  Ah'm dangerous."  She hung her head.  "Ah should probably get mahself locked away."

                "You're not going insane.  Trust me."  He moved towards her and took her helmet from her hands.  She hadn't put it away yet.

                "Then what's happening?  Ah asked the professor what happened with Kitty, and he wouldn't tell me.  He won't tell me anything.  Ah'm about ready to absorb him just to find out what's goin' on."

                "I can't tell you what's happening."

                "Logan...  Ah have to know.  Ah'm scared.  It's givin' me nightmares."

                He lifted her chin to look her straight in the eye.  "What kind of nightmares?"

                "The kind where Ah'm fadin' away...  Where the psyches take over mah body and hurt everyone here."

                He closed his eyes for a second.  He'd known she'd figure it out on her own.  "If you fight them hard enough, that'll never happen.  That's why you're here, Stripes.  To learn how to trap them.  It's not going to happen."

                "Logan, Ah think that's what's wrong.  They're takin' over."

                He knew what was coming next from the way she was looking at him.  "No."

                "They are.  And...  If it does happen and Ah'm not there to control them anymore..."

                Logan shook his head.  _Please don't say it,_ he begged silently.

                "If they've got control of mah body Ah want you to kill me.  Ah'm not gonna be a danger to everyone Ah love."  She knew that he was the only one who would even consider it.

                He turned his back to her and put her helmet on a hook on the wall.  "I won't."

                "Logan, please.  You have to promise me.  Ah don't wanna be trapped."

                "Then you have to promise not to let it happen, because I can't keep that promise."  He leaned some of his weight on the helmet in his hands.  "The bike's yours when you're ready to help work on it."

                She spun on her heel and left the garage.  She started up towards her room.  It wasn't fair.  She knew something was wrong, even if she didn't know for sure what it was.  They should tell her.  It was her sanity at risk, after all.

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So...  There!  I promise not to be so long before the next update!!  Please R&R!!!

Love,

Tainz


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